Психология

Ревновать – вредно или полезно?

 

Ревность – одно из самых мучительных чувств, переживаемых человеком. Это сомнение в чьей-то любви, преданности. В той или иной степени этому чувству подвержены все люди.

Попробуем понять, в какой степени ревность полезна для отношений, а в каких случаях она их может погубить.

Ревность бывает разной, и её проявления зависят от личностных качеств человека, от уровня его культуры, от темперамента. Это чувство испытывают не только несамодостаточные люди с заниженной самооценкой. Ревновать могут сильные и не страдающие от комплексов люди, но только тогда, когда на то есть веские причины. Ревность, проявляющаяся в пределах разумного, не является каким-либо отклонением. В какой-то степени она даже способствует укреплению отношений между партнёрами. Если ревнуем – значит, страшимся потерять. Страдая от этого чувства, мы хотим стать лучше в глазах партнёра, начинаем совершенствоваться.

Но на этом плюсы ревности, пожалуй, заканчиваются.

Постоянные вспышки ревности не укрепляют отношения, но методично их разрушают, подтачивают самооценку и самоуважение человека.

Ревность может принять и нездоровые формы, причиняя огромные страдания как самому ревнивцу, так и объекту его ревности. Если вы живёте одной навязчивой мыслью, что ваш возлюбленный выходит из дома лишь для того, чтобы изменить вам, устанавливаете за ним слежку, устраиваете постоянные сцены, угрожаете, – это свидетельствует о наличии у вас серьёзных комплексов и ряда психологических проблем, возможно, вам даже требуется помощь специалиста. Необходимо понять, что партнёр – не ваша собственность, не вещь, не часть вашего тела. И лучший способ сохранить любовь – держать дверцы клетки открытыми.

Что же делать, когда ревность имеет под собой реальную почву, а ваша эмоциональная зависимость от человека настолько велика, что вы не представляете себе жизни без него? Если вами владеет постоянный страх потерять возлюбленного, психологи советуют прибегнуть к практике буддизма и попытаться посмотреть на свою жизнь как на прохождение определённых этапов: вы жили как-то до встречи с этим человеком, жизнь не остановится и после его ухода.

В заключение хочется сказать – человек, который по-настоящему дорожит отношениями со своим партнёром, постарается никогда не давать ему повода для ревности, даже «в профилактических целях».

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