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Какие семейные тайны раскрыл И. Тургенев в повести «Первая любовь»

«Я присел на стул и долго сидел как очарованный. То, что я ощущал, было так ново и так сладко…Я сидел, чуть-чуть озираясь и не шевелясь, медленно дышал и только по временам то молча смеялся, вспоминая, то внутренно холодел при мысли, что я влюблен, что вот она, вот эта любовь».
В этих строках Ивана Тургенева многие узнают свои чувства, пережитые в пору первой влюблённости. Повесть «Первая любовь», увидевшая свет в 1860 году, вызвала читательский восторг, но многие современники осуждали писателя за откровенное раскрытие им семейных тайн – ведь описанное соперничество отца с сыном имело прототипом реальную историю в жизни самого Тургенева.
Повесть написана как воспоминание 42-летнего мужчины о неудачном опыте своей первой любви. События происходят на даче под Москвой, где главный герой, 16-летний Владимир, живёт с родителями и готовится к сдаче экзаменов. По соседству с ними обитает княгиня Засекина с дочерью Зинаидой. Молодая княжна очень красива, прекрасно образована и окружена толпой поклонников. Владимир страстно в неё влюбляется и страдает, потому что ему кажется, будто Зинаида играет его чувствами. Она то подаёт ему надежду, то отталкивает и насмехается. Однако со временем он замечает, что девушка становится серьёзной и задумчивой, скорее всего, она влюблена, но в кого? Владимир мучается в догадках.
Случайно оказавшись свидетелем сцены ссоры родителей, Владимир узнаёт, что между отцом и Зинаидой существует тайная связь. Семья Владимира решает вернуться в Москву, а он хочет попрощаться с княжной и становится невольным свидетелем объяснения отца с Зинаидой. В порыве гнева отец бьёт хлыстом протянутую руку девушки, а та нежно целует след от удара. Молодой человек теряется в догадках: что же такое любовь? И не найдя ответа, находит в себе силы отойти в сторону. Восхищение необъяснимой силой их взаимной любви заставило юношу уступить, несмотря на глубокую боль: «То, что я узнал, было мне не под силу: это внезапное откровение раздавило меня… Все было кончено. Все цветы мои были вырваны разом и лежали вокруг меня, разбросанные и истоптанные».
Повесть «Первая любовь» была написана уже зрелым писателем, который искал объяснение тайны любви и переосмысливал свою личную жизнь. Отец писателя, Сергей Николаевич Тургенев, был младше своей жены Варвары Петровны Лутовиновой на шесть лет, женился по расчёту и изменял жене. По воспоминаниям современников он был умён, хорош собой, имел добрый нрав. Неудивительно, что юная поэтесса Екатерина Львовна Шаховская обратила на него внимание, и между ними завязался роман. Со своей стороны, молодой Тургенев, также влюблённый в Шаховскую, терялся в догадках, почему она предпочла старого отца, а не его. И в повести, и в жизни история имела несчастливый конец. Сергей Николаевич умер от болезни почек в возрасте 40 лет, а его возлюбленная Шаховская пережила отца только на два года. Она вышла замуж за другого человека и скончалась через несколько дней после родов. Удивительно, что ни автор, ни герой, говорящий его устами, ни в чём не винят ни отца, ни любимую.
Известно, что первая любовь накладывает отпечаток на все последующие любовные отношения человека, особенно если первый опыт был неудачным, и тем более, если это случилось с писателем или поэтом. Обратившись к этой истории в 42 года, Тургенев, быть может, хотел понять, почему его личная жизнь сложилась именно так…

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