Психология

Как остановить хамство? Неожиданно сталкиваясь с хамством, мы стоим перед выбором – ответить или промолчать?

Почему-то не сразу приходит в голову остроумный ответ, а природная застенчивость и воспитание не позволяют ответить обидчику тем же. Как же правильно реагировать?

Для начала надо понять, что хамство, как говорят психологи, – это замещение словами агрессивных действий (так же как мат – замещение сексуальной агрессии). Хам выбирает «жертву», чтобы на ней отыграться. Его цель – вывести человека из равновесия, поэтому он подспудно ищет людей с низкой самооценкой, неуверенных в себе. И если вам слишком часто хамят, над этим стоит задуматься.

Реакцией же на хамство должно быть такое поведение, которое поставит вас выше обидчика, – подчёркнутая вежливость или юмор. Например, вам сказали в лицо, что вы ужасно одеты. Ответьте: «А вы так элегантны сегодня, можно с вами сфотографироваться?» Или вас спрашивают – ты что здесь, самая умная? Ответьте: «Как вы угадали? Спасибо за комплимент».

Для защиты от хамских нападок коллег переходите в режим «отчуждения». Сошлитесь на срочные дела и занятость. Холодный вежливый тон поможет прекратить бестактный разговор.

Если хамом оказался ваш начальник, спокойно, уважительно задавайте ему уточняющие вопросы. Он недоволен вашей работой – уточните, чем именно, попросите показать пример, как бы ему понравилось, чтобы было выполнено задание и т.д. Этот метод поможет остудить начальственный гнев, а вы окажетесь на высоте.

Если же вы страдаете от хамовитого клиента, а ваша обязанность – оставаться вежливым во что бы то ни стало, выберите занудную монотонную фразу и повторяйте её до тех пор, пока посетителю не надоест и он сам не решит прервать разговор.

Ну а если вам нахамили в сфере обслуживания – продавец в магазине, работник регистратуры в поликлинике, служащий банка – смело жалуйтесь на него начальству. Хама обязаны наказать. Например, некоторые банки увольняют операторов колл-центров за некорректное обращение по телефону с клиентом.

В любом случае, если вам хамят, нечего расстраиваться. Просто жизнь показала вам не самого лучшего человека и дала возможность отточить своё умение давать отпор.

Грубость – это потуги слабого продемонстрировать силу. Хамство – это имитация силы слабым человеком. Эрик Хоффер, американский философ

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